Up before 9AM

Dear Bloggashere (and yes that's now a word!)

I'm going to say sorry once because this blog post is an emotional one and emotional me and grammatical sense don't sit in the same sentence!

But anyway to the actual post! Well ish...
Any teenager will know that if you're not busy that day you will not be up before 9am and if you are then something has gone wrong! Well this morning I wasn't busy but I was up at 08:30 which meant something had gone wrong! Now if the time didn't tell me that my Mum's crying did! Now any young carer knows the sound of the person your caring for tear's is like a knife stabbing you in the heart;It also sends adrenalin straight through your body. This morning was no different!

Mum has been taking steroids for about 3 or 4 days now and I'd love to say it's working but I honestly can't, as far as I've seen they give her all these stupid side affects and maybe make everything a tiny bit better.

This morning the steroids just made life a giant mountain! When I walked into Mum and Dad's room this morning I had no real idea what was going to happen. Now all that happened was having a hug, a chat and then the standard move! But that hug and chat is probably the hardest part. Seeing my Mum so weak and vulnerable is heartbreaking; Mum is such a strong person who I look up to but laying with her as she cried and could barely move just didn't feel like it was my Mum at all.

In the end we moved her and we're all now sat in the lounge being a family. But moments like this morning made it all sink in. It really made me realise how much of a Monster MS can be. It also made me realise that the emotional side of being a carer is the tough mountain you might have to climb!

Once again, sorry if this doesn't really make sense or I'm missing sections out! You see this morning is still a bit of an emotional blur to me but I want you all to see some of the darker times because they make the better days so much better!

Love
Shannon x  

Juggling

Well here I am again saying sorry for ditching you all for such long time! But hear me out, I have my reasons! Like all of you I have a life which has managed to take over everything! School and GCSEs take no prisoners, they will happily take over your life and you can't get angry with it because it hold the key to the rest of your life! The other thing I've happily let slip into my life and take up lots of my time is St John Ambulance.

Therefore from this and from a St John Ambulance National Cadet Of the Year Competition I've realised I can't juggle. Where that be actual juggling or metaphorical juggling I can't do it!

So once again I'm sorry but give me time and I'll learn to juggle!
Thanks

Shannon x